Protecting Your Peace This Holiday Season
If you’re dreading upcoming holiday gatherings, anticipating the well-intentioned but hurtful comments about your body and how you feed yourself and your kids, you're not alone. It can be incredibly challenging to navigate these social situations, especially when you're actively working towards body acceptance and intuitive eating. Here's how to protect you and your family’s peace and enjoy the holidays:
1. Prepare in Advance
Identify Your Triggers: Recognize what topics/statements do not sit well with you
Prepare Some Responses: It can be hard to know what to say or do in the moment. With these triggers in mind, decide your best course of action. Here are some potential options:
Get Ahead of Things: Set the expectation beforehand for topics you don’t want to be brought up and what you will do if they are (ex: I do not want to hear ______ (any comments about my weight). If this is not honored, I will choose to _______ (leave the conversation/house/etc).
Plan Your In-the-Moment Responses: Prepare how you want to speak up in the moment
Do you want to be short and to the point to end the discussion?
Do you want to keep it light-hearted and respond with humor?
Do you want to use it as an opportunity to educate?
Do you want to share how this makes you feel and what you need instead?
Redirect: Change the conversation
Circle Back: Ignore it in the moment and talk privately to the person later
Let it go: Brush it off and walk away
Decide Your Deal Breakers: Sometimes it doesn’t matter what we say, people will continue to push the buttons. Determine what you are unwilling to tolerate and decide a plan B. You can’t control what others say and do, but you do get to decide when enough is enough and you need to remove yourself (and your family) from the situation for everyone’s sake.
2. Surviving in the Present:
Prioritize Self-Care: Focus on activities that bring you joy and nourish your body and soul.
Focus On What You Can Control: What can you do to reduce your stress? What do you enjoy about the holiday season that you can lean into more?
Limit Exposure: Reduce your time with people who trigger you. This could include getting out of the house to go for a walk or run an errand, going to bed early to get some alone time, staying at a hotel, or shortening the length of your stay. You are no longer a child and you have the power to make the choices that suit you and your family best!
Notice Your Thoughts: Sometimes being around family can trigger us to turn back to unhealthy ways of thinking. Acknowledge your achievements in your journey towards body appreciation and intuitive eating. If you feel yourself slipping back into old food thoughts, be gentle with yourself and get curious about why those are coming back up for you, and use the tools you’ve gained to reframe them.
3. Coming Back Home:
Evaluate Your Experience: Reflect on what worked and what didn’t work. Whether it was great or felt like a disaster, there are lessons to learn that can be applied to future decision-making.
Debrief With Your Kids: If you are a parent, discuss how the time was for your kids. If your kids are at an age to discuss body and food messages, get curious if they heard or noticed anything they’d like to discuss.
Seek Support: Connect with others who can help process these challenging moments and will encourage your growth.
Remember, you have the right to set boundaries and protect your mental health. Even if someone doesn’t agree, it does not mean you are wrong. By practicing these strategies, you can navigate the holiday season for you and your family with confidence and joy. You’ve got this!
