Less Stress Shopping Tips:
I absolutely love springtime. The weather is (usually) pleasant, and flowers are blooming, making the scenery look inviting and joyful. I get inspired by the spring cleaning vibes and feel energized to finally organize all the things I never want to delve into the rest of the year, which looks like moving a pile of stuff from one location to another and feeling accomplished and satisfied. This also usually feels like a good time of year to go through closets and pull out things that no longer fit, are worn out, or just never get worn, leaving an excellent space for a closet refresh. To some, shopping for new clothes is a bit like the first day of spring and brings an instant sense of joy and excited energy. For others, however, it is filled with dread and automatic self-loathing. The fear of the dressing room lights and mirrors, anger that the size you want is not the size your body fits into, the comparison that leads you to think that if you only had a different body, your life satisfaction would improve immensely, and ultimately hopelessness because even if there was a day a long time ago when you would have looked in the mirror and felt satisfied that day feels like a lifetime ago… if it ever existed in the first place.
Even if springtime doesn't mean closet refresh season for you, there is bound to be a time or a special event that causes you to need to shop for something new to wear. Is there a way to do this that doesn't make you want to curl up in bed and hide from the world afterward? I'm so glad you asked!
Here are some tips to support your shopping journey all year round:
Get MULTIPLE sizes of things: Sizes vary sooooo much from brand to brand and store to store. If something looks interesting to you, grab it in several different sizes. Spoiler alert: this will be the only time you'll check out that size.
Then MIX them up: Once you've selected the sizes, mix them up in your hand or your cart so that you don't know which size is which and would have to look at the tag to find out (if the item is on a hanger that says the size, take them off the hangers or switch the hanger). Why go through this trouble? Because it can be tempting to label a specific size as acceptable or unacceptable. Measuring your body's "goodness" based on size is a surefire way to be disappointed and feel unworthy. Sizes are not standardized, and your body's worth cannot be simplified to a number on a tag.
Try the item on with your BACK to the mirror first: We want to shift the focus from size to feel! Test out what the piece of clothing feels like on your body before you see what it looks like. Do you like the feel of the fabric against your skin? Does it feel too tight or too loose anywhere? Too short or too long? If it feels good, go ahead and try sitting down in it (still not looking at the mirror); how did that feel? If it feels tight or uncomfortable in any way, go ahead and try another size or item… that one is not the winner!
Check out the mirror and show yourself some LOVE: If the item passes the feel test, go ahead and turn around and see what it looks like in the mirror and show yourself some love as you do. What does this mean? Smile at yourself, give yourself a high five in the mirror, and/or say something kind to yourself. You might think this just got weird, but hear me out! If I asked you to look in the mirror and tell me 5 things you don't like, you could probably rattle them off without even thinking much about it because being self-critical is something that most of us practice regularly. How often do you stop to recognize that you are doing something scary and challenging and celebrate that courage and vulnerability? Whether you like the piece of clothing or not, showing a bit of love to yourself at this moment reminds you that you are more than this item, and even if you don't love this piece of clothing on your body, you are still worthy of love.
Take advantage of ONLINE shopping: If you are okay with returning items, this can be a great way to order and try them on in the comfort of your home, with different pieces you already own to accompany potential new ones. The other tips still apply at home!
Call in SUPPORT: If you have a trusted friend or partner you feel safe with, ask them to come shopping with you and help support you. They can be an excellent accountability partner to prevent that curiosity from looking at the size on the tag from taking over, to remind you that you're beautiful because you are you (period), and help make a challenging experience tolerable and maybe even enjoyable.
Plan a RELAXING activity afterward: If shopping feels more like doing your taxes than a time of enjoyment, plan something fun to do afterward! Maybe that's lunch with your friend, a relaxing pedicure, watching a movie, or walking outside. Whatever is a relaxing activity to you, plan to do that afterward so you can have time to truly recharge and celebrate that you faced a fear and made it to the other side.
THANK your body for its support: Whatever the shopping outcome, offer gratitude to your body that it got you to the store, that it supported your enjoyable activity, and that it is a part of you. The reality is that we all have things we'd likely change about our bodies if given the choice, and at the same time, there is always something for which we are grateful. Expressing gratitude to our bodies for all they do for us is something we don't do nearly enough and is one of the best ways to combat negative body image. Practicing this is not easy, but it is a game-changer for body acceptance.
SEEK support: If negative body image thoughts feel like something that is robbing you of joy and being able to be fully present in life, seek support from a therapist. It's never too late to transform your relationship with your body. Hope and healing are within reach!
